you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
