NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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