it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
