Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
