I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
