i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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