How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
