weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
