Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
