Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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