ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
