How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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