if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
