She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize