I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
3pm strippers are depressing
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
