Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
