im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize