WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
