Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
