I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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