The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
