at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
