my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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