im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize