After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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