Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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