if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
