speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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