But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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