White coat. Heels.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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