It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do herpes really smell.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
