No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
