Yo dont text me then not text me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
