she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How external is "for external use only"?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
