Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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