No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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