Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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