She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
