You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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