why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
