I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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