It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize