Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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