My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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