I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
