I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
