I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
