If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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