I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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