There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
