All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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