Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
