i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize