He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
