My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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