Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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