Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
