he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
