i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He better not be in your backpack
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
