after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
