I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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