I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
