Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
