i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
